Daily Dirt, April 5th, 2007

Howard K. to Hire Agressive Lawyer
Sources say Howard K. Stern has had telephone conferences with Lin Wood -- the lawyer who represented Patsy and John Ramsey -- and will hire him to sue members of the media who have accused Stern of committing homicide and other offenses. Rumor has it that a retainer agreement has not yet been signed, but Stern and Wood have agreed in principle that the uber-aggressive lawyer would file various lawsuits against certain members of the media. Ron Rale, Anna Nicole's lawyer, a named executor in her will and Stern's friend, said, "I will confirm that retention of Lin Wood is an imminent possibility." Rale added, "Certain members of the media might want to think about mitigating damages." In the Ramsey case, Wood filed numerous defamation claims against media outlets, including Time, Court TV, FOX News and others, for pointing a guilty finger at his clients.





Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Spat With Three 6 Mafia
According to sources, the rap group Three 6 Mafia was booted from their home after a member of their entourage peed on Jennifer Love Hewitt's lawn. The Oscar-winning rap group recently moved into the same Toluca Lake neighborhood of the busty "Ghost Whisperer," and marked their new territory by having one of their assistants relieve himself on Hewitt's front yard. The group's new reality show, "Adventures in HollyHood," premieres tomorrow night on MTV. While handing out invitations to the Three 6 Mafia housewarming party, you can actually see the assistant peeing on a lawn they claim belongs to the actress. Instead of offering the group gifts, rumor has it that Hewitt and other neighbors forced them to move out of the Toluca Lake 'hood, and they're now living in Bel Air.





If Sanjaya Wins Idol...
The question burning in the minds of "American Idol" fans: What if Sanjaya actually wins? A website exists just to give its viewers a chance to sound off and answer that searing question. Ifsanjayawins.com is offering various clothing items and accessories featuring the logo "If sanjaya wins, I will... ," leaving the answer up to the person who purchases the item. The website allows viewers to answer the question, which is then graded by creators of the site. A favorite hypothetical is, "If Sanjaya wins, I will write a letter to American Idol telling them to apologize to William Hung for eliminating him so soon." In a related story, rumor has it that execs at Sony BMG (its 19 Recordings/RCA division records the winner of "Idol") are "really nervous." They now think Sanjaya could win the competition and worry that he's like the new Pet Rock -- the novelty will wear off and his records won't sell. On the other side of things, we're told a number of songwriters in H-Wood are already quietly writing songs for one person and one person only in the competition -- yes, Sanjaya.





Jacko Celebrates Paris' Birthday, Not THAT Paris
Michael Jackson took his daughter Paris, face covered, to FAO Schwarz in one of Vegas’s most famous casinos shopping areas, turning the place into a complete circus. MJ and his child, with matching bodyguards, strolled through Caesars Palace yesterday with an enormous mob following them, as they made their way to the toy store, which was closed off just for them. Paris was celebrating her 9th birthday, with Jackson giving her a private shopping spree.




Jessica Simpson and That Guy She's Dating
Jessica Simpson and her borefriend, John Mayer, were in Australia on Tuesday, but all eyes were just on Simpson as they made their way to a plane. Jess, wearing a dress from the Mrs. Garrett collection, was stopped numerous times by fans asking for photos and autographs at Adelaide Airport, while Mayer had to endure the wait, and relative anonymity. He is performing at a blues festival in Australia and traveling with Jessica Simpson!

Hewitt is pretty damn hot. Never seen that Ghost Talker show though, looks weak. But if some cheesy rap group moved in near me and I caught a dude taking a piss on my lawn I'd let the dog out. No class.

-HECK!