Things you learn while on the booze

List things you learn while drunk

In no particular order...

#1- No matter how hard you try, you cannot light a cigarette on a George Foreman Grill.

-HECK!

#2 Don't pee uphill

#3 Don't try to talk to anyone. Just shut up and try not to grin.

#4. Don't try to dump your beer out of the car window when your going 50 mph. Esp if the back window is open.

#5- No one wants to talk to you at 3:30 a.m.

-HECK!

#6. Two stepping is not easy when your drunk.... (as simplistic as it is.)

Spitting your drink on someone's face isn't as funny to them as you thought it would be.

#8. Talking to a police officer like nothing is wrong won't make him go away.

#9That taking off your shirt and bra will make it seem like your boobs are not going to explode :scared: BUT will make your male friends very happy

#that the Denny's waitress is not amazed to hear how great pancakes taste at 3 a.m.

#11. That pancakes DO taste more amazing at 3 a.m.

#12 Beer + Chicks = Boobies

#13 Beer + Chicks + Dudes = Fights

#14 Beer + Fights = Entertaining

#15. That Government buildings are no less prone to urine than the regular kind.

#16. Drinking booze makes you better at repairing things around the house. I swear it does.

#17. Bartenders don't need or care to hear how they're your new best friend.

#18. They also don't care about your history of breakups.

#19. Taxi Drivers don't care either

#20. No one is as good a dancer as they think they are

#21. Always have a large jug of water nearby for the next morning.

-HECK!

#22. Always carry a hair band so you don't vomit in your hair.

#23 Not every single guy wants to fondle your chest when you're blasted no matter how many times you tell them it's "perfectly fine".