DAILY THOUGHTS FROM DOGS AND CATS

From a Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my
contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body
at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I
must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is
regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He
obviously has a screw loose.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating
with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every
move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an
elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now

HAHAHA too funny