Dumb Drunks- Let's Break Into An Airport!

Alleged drunk man breaks into airport
Tue Jan 23, 10:53 PM ET


LAS VEGAS - An intoxicated 28-year-old man apparently broke into a secure area near McCarran International Airport and stole a luggage cart tug car before being arrested early Tuesday.

Joshua Scheuerman is accused by police of breaching two perimiter fences at the Quail Air Center around 4 a.m.

He allegedly stole the tug car and began to drive it on airport property.
Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Ian Gregor said the tug damaged the right wing of a G-4 Gulfstream business jet.

Police said he also damaged a fence before rolling the tug into a ditch. He ran and was stopped by Department of Aviation officers.

Scheuerman was booked on charges of grand larceny, malicious destruction of private property, hit and run property damage, and trespassing.

-HECK!

Sounds like something you might do HECK!

Totally. You know the day HECK and I get onto the hooch together, we gonna be breaking into airports, hotels and probably 24-hour convenience stores. We'll even drop by the Whidden residence and knock-and-run. That's right, we're that bad.

I was totally thinking that this was a story about Heck!

Didn't you call in sick early tuesday heck? AHEM, WHERE WERE YOU THAT DAY?

This "joshua" name is fake. We all know it. Fess up.

Whoa whoa whoa... my lawyer said it's best for me not to comment on the matter.

-HECK!

As your publicist I suggest we start marketing your book right now. This whole airport thing will make you and your book MILLIONS!

So I should start on a different book then...

-HECK!

just finish that one you were working on ALREADY!

Speaking of which, does my sig look familiar?

Plus you know I don't like flying. No way I would mess with an airport. Well, if I was drunk I would. Maybe it was me.

-HECK!

oh believe me I DON'T FORGET YOU WON'T FLY.

and yes, I did recognize the banner. i laughed.