Bad Conversations

Some people just can't have a normal conversation. They do something that fucks it up and makes you mad. At the very least it just becomes awkward.

Nothing angers me more than bad conversation enders. I posted one such bad conversation ender over at INR. I've found another one. So I'm yapping at a co-worker in the parking lot. We're walking to our cars. He's parked in another area we start walking in different directions. He says something I give the obligatory half-laugh that trails off as I walk away. Then he says something else. Again, the laugh, but we're about 6 feet apart now. I throw in a convo ender, "alrighty then man, take it easy." I fully turn away from him and what the hell do I hear but some more yapping. He's doing this half-step backwards walk away at a nominal pace but still facing me. I normally don't do this but I gave him the 360 degree head nod still walking away half-wave semi-laugh. That's all I have left for him. Now a good 20 feet away the son-of-a-bitch kept the convo going. I was not playing this game. I just did the semi-laugh, not facing him, still walking away. He's lucky to get that much. Now when I see him I don't break stride. It's like a Chinese finger trap talking to this dude. The harder you try to pull away the more stuck you get.


-HECK!

Here's a post from INR some months ago about another bad convo ender:

...about three weeks ago or so a lot of my peeps are up in Big Bear doing a short film, so I hit the movie theater by myself and want to check Clerks 2. I get my ticket but decide to have a smoke before I go in. It's pretty hot so I'm puffin' quick to get in there. That's when a buddy of my uncle's comes out and we start talking. It's the same ol' generic "what's new" talk. I finish the smoke and try the first convo stopper, "well, good seeing you bro..." Like a Mack truck he drives right through and talks about something else. A few minutes go by, attempt number two. "Man, I'm going to get inside, it's hot out here." Actually, I didn't even really finish the sentence. Half way through dude cuts me off talking about yet another topic, something about Jane’s Addiction or waffles, don’t recall. So now I'm pulling out all the stops. I'm actually side-stepping toward the theater and nodding at whatever in the hell he's saying. I'm basically walking away from him, waiting for him to stop talking so I can do the swoop in handshake, drop the last stopper and just walk away regardless. It’s a risky move, but I had to do it. Finally, a break, I blurt out "time to see the movie, take it easy." Handshake and fist pound and I was out. I heard a “uh, yeah, er, have a good one,” but it didn’t matter. I was gone. Haven't had to do the side-step swoop in a while but thankfully it worked. Suffice to say, I made the movie and it was hilarious.

-HECK!

There are two ladies, at work, who are like that. I try to NEVER start a conversation with them, because you CANT get away from them. Hell, I don't know HOW many times I've been like... 'I NEED to get some work done.'


Give me a shotgun...

I worked with this one broad who always ended her sentences with, "and I'm all..."

One time I actually said, "all what?" She looked at me like I was nuts. She didn't even know she did it.

Another chick would always look up and to the right whenver she was about to say something she thought was funny. I would use that time to walk away.

I don't know why these little things stick out for me.

Maybe I am autistic.

-HECK!

no just observant

Theres a lady I used to work with that does that. She's friends wih my mom. One dya they were talkign on the phone and mymom kept trying to get off and she just kept talking. well After about the fourth time of my of my phones going dead it actually went dead. My mom put it on the charger talked to me about how the chick wouldn't hang up and then went to get the other phone to make another call. When she picked it up the chick was on there still talking. She hadn't missed a beat, didn't even know my mom wasn't on the phone for easily 3 mins.

there's this one old lady that does dishes all day in the back and she talks and talks and talks and talks

it's like one big run-on sentence. She's going kind of senile cuz she'll talk about her nephews or neices or whatever but she'll just say them by name like I know who the hell she's talking about.

she doesn't even take a breath.

I've gotten to the point where I just ignore her and walk away.

I worked with one guy who always talked about when he lived "up north" and would always point behind him. It wasn't always geographically correct, but whenever he would talk about "up north" the ol' thumb would go up. I wanted to break it.

-HECK!

HECK! wrote:

I worked with one guy who always talked about when he lived "up north" and would always point behind him. It wasn't always geographically correct, but whenever he would talk about "up north" the ol' thumb would go up. I wanted to break it.

-HECK!

i do that. haha. but it's usually when i say "back home." so TECHNICALLY, it is in BACK.

so, me = exception.

You are the rule.

So that means when you talk about the moon you point up? Tell someone to go to hell and point down? Where does this end? WHERE?

-HECK!

when i tell someone to go to hell i point up... with my middle finger. so i just threw your theory out the window. and yes, i pointed sideways on that one.

Sideways. Comedy.

It's true, like when people are about to fight and go "what's up" then throw up their hands. Weird.

-HECK!

I'm a pointer. As in, i'll point my finger at you if i'm talking to you. i know people think it's rude. but is it REALLY? I have a friend who grabs my finger and squeezes it if I point it at him. It's funny. is it really that rude?

I don't point at people if i'm talking about them across the room or something. I try to be SUBTLE aobut that.

No, it's just rude when you roll your eyes, say the word "snore" or flip people off when they're talking.

-HECK!

"snore?" oh i see you're talking about yourself?
my bad, you say "yawn" ... totally different. (eye roll)

Anyone else think pointing is rude? I MEAN, I'M STILL GONNA DO IT.

I just say Yawn when you talk about Gray's Lameatomy. I hate that show.

Pointing isn't so bad unless you make fingertip contact.

-HECK!

I did it today. I dropped the cat in my husbands lap, and I said "I thought I'd give you a little ______ for Valentines Day" then I ran the hell out of there.

it would've been funnier if you said "pussy"

Well I said it to him and that is something I never say! I'm sick and I was going for that shock value laugh.

When I see chicks out and about that talk in an upward pitch, like they're asking a question, I want to slap their glittery face. Then they sprinkle the lingo with "... and I'm all, and he's all, and I'm like whatever, and he's like whatever..." and HECK is like, fuck you tramp, shut your purge hole before I lodge my fist in it.

-HECK!

hhahaha too funny

I used to make the ends of my sentences go up like that because people used to say I talk to fast and monatone that they didnt know when one sentence ended and the other began. now everyone says that I talk to slow, Make up your minds people.

HECK! wrote:

Pointing isn't so bad unless you make fingertip contact.

-HECK!

unless you're at the proctologist.

wait... that didn't come out right.

HECK! wrote:

You are the rule.

So that means when you talk about the moon you point up? Tell someone to go to hell and point down? Where does this end? WHERE?

-HECK!

Usually when I tell someone to go to hell (about 50 times a day), I'm flipping them off, so technically I'm pointing UP.

Adding a middle finger to an insult has always fascinated me. Thanks to the finger, you can tell someone to go to hell and say fuck you at once. It's a real time saver.

-HECK!

I actually gave to finger while driving the other day. this bitch was on my ass and all up in the window teling me the speed limit, like holding up her fingers, 4 5, 4, 5 which i was going 5 miles an hour over so I slowed down and did just the speed limit to piss her off and she started beeping her horn at me so i flipped her off. I usually don't let people get to me like that.