MAN VS WOMAN

HERE ARE A FEW MAN VS WOMEN TYPE JOKES


SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote
on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he
Knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished
to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto
your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of
a spider.

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men...
the husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

tsk

SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the woman realized that the
next day, she would need her husband to wake her at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), she wrote
on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " and left it where she
Knew he would find it.
The next morning, the woman woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
she had missed her flight. Furious, she was about to go and see why her
husband hadn't wakened her, when she noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Women are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the wife asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."

haha

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

-HECK!

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the stove.

-HECK!

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

-HECK!

Heck... you're just down right nasty!

I guess it's a good thing that we love ya, eh?

Haha, yup.

How did I know you would first to reply...

-HECK!

I don't know... could be because you know that I'm bold enough to say something. *shrug*